You can love something that frustrates you

Last Monday was my first day of teaching 7th grade math. My class is from 8-9:30 right at the beginning of the day. I had 17 students on my roster and I was trying not to think about how intimidated I felt.

The first day was an overwhelming whirlwind. As I stood at my door with one hand stretched out to shake hands and and one hand white-knuckling my clipboard and seating chart, I welcomed each student with a "good morning," hoping they wouldn't recognize me for the pushover that I am. (Luckily, 7th graders are smaller than I imagined - so I've got size. Add that to beard and bachelors degree and I had all the confidence I needed.) Honestly, I didn't know how I was going to respond to being in front of a room of people looking at me to give them direction and instruction and encouragement and consequence and assessment. But I just kind of started talking, sticking to my plan, and rolling with it. It even felt a little out-of-body. Man, it was weird.

The first day was filled with just enough moments for me to constantly replay in my mind, rendering me useless during my sessions for the rest of the day (sweet fake names to follow):

• Several students wandered in late and I awkwardly did not respond whatsoever
• After explaining that I've been frustrated by math at times before, Marki-Mark - the self-proclaimed "bad girl" shouted, "I thought you said you loved math." "I do. You can love something that frustrates you."
• Richard Marx asked me "can I take a 5 minute nap" right after I described my class expectation to be focused. "No."
• The air conditioner spontaneously flooded out onto Immanuel's desk during the start-of-the-summer diagnostic.

After I walked out of class, I felt like I was getting off a rollercoaster. I had a faint idea of what had just happened, was a little sick to my stomach, and instantly had to start preparing to get in line again.

(Since day one, I've actually been teaching math content, and I've gotten to know my kids. So do not fear, it has been absolutely amazing. More stories to come...)